So Sorry
by ElectroGirlNoir
Summary: He hadn't meant it, he hadn't meant for him to fall...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**** Hello, it's 05:17 in the morning! Sorry I vanished again, it was for completely boring but completely important reasons. :P I wrote this cos I can't sleep and I also thought it might help my approaching writer's block :( **

**Disclaimer:**** It's Noel and Ju-ju's**

**Warnings: Language**

**So Sorry**

Outside the little room, empty except for the two of them, the general sounds of a busy hospital night could be heard. That, coupled with the sound of Howard's manic whispering of the same words and the shrill squeak of his Converses as he paced the immaculate flooring was starting to make Naboo's head ache. That and the whole situation. He would have given anything not to be almost completely sober at that moment, but knew that it was a good job that he was- someone had to have a bit of control out of the two of them, and it certainly wasn't going to be Howard.

The maverick was pacing the floor at high speed, hands constantly running through his hair and rubbing at his face. _It's my fault_, he kept whispering in a monotone, _it's all my fault. _

"It'smyfaultit'smyfaultit'smyfaultit'smyfaultit'smyfault…"

"Howard!" Naboo's stern voice rebounded off the walls, "Howard, sit down!"

Howard stopped abruptly, staring wildly at the shaman, breathing hard, face pale.

"Right, now sit down,"

Howard continued to stare, shaking his head, "I- I- I- I- I killed my best friend…" he was staring into the distance now, somewhere above Naboo's head, "It's all my fault… he's gonna die, and it's all my fault!"

Seeing the tears, Naboo got to his feet and dragged Howard over to the chair beside his own, pushing him down, "for fucksake, stop talkin' bollocks! It isn't your fault, and he's not going to die, alright! Just shut up, Howard!"

"B-b-b-but I-I-I-I I pushed him! I pushed him and- and he fell! I didn't mean to push him off balance, he- he- he was shouting at me, calling names, I- I just tried to push him away from me, I didn't mean for him to fall! I love him—I love him so much, I didn't mean to hurt him!"

He couldn't die. Please.

_Please, we're in the wrong life; this can't be right… this can't happen, not to him…_

_**Bad things can happen to sunshine people too, y'know.**_

**A/N2:**** So this could be a drabble, could have more chapters, I dunno :P Either way, reviews would be great please! *_^ (puppy-dog eyes)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**** Thanks to my readers and reviewers, you know I love ya! Sorry if there are any mistakes; I am well tired.**

**Disclaimer:**** The Boosh isn't mine**

**Warnings: Language**

The guilt squeezed his insides evilly, making his head throb and his chest burn sickly, his pulse beating heavily in his neck. He didn't feel at all well. He was vaguely aware of Naboo's hand on his bowed head, ruffling his hair in what was a supposedly comforting way and lisping quietly:

"Calm down, Howard, okay? Calm down…"

Calm down.

Two words had never sounded so utterly ridiculous. How the hell was he supposed to calm down? All he could see was the moment it had happened- Vince all up in his personal space, calling him everything under the sun and each word another stab in his gut, and then the moment he shoved Vince away, and the look of terror in Vince's eyes mirrored in his own as they both realised he was going to fall into the counter behind him.

Then there had been Vince's cry of pain and that sickening thud, then silence from the small figure as he lay unconscious on the kitchen tiles, lips slightly parted, hair spilled across his face, red rapidly seeping into raven.

Never would he hurt Vince, never ever, yet here they were in the horrid little hospital room with his best friend lying somewhere in a hospital bed, all because of him.

Naboo needed backup. He didn't care who it came from- Dennis with his wise reassuring tone, Bollo, _anyone_, someone who knew how to calm an unsteady, 6'2" grieving Northerner-

He knew the perfect person, but they were currently in a hospital ward somewhere.

If the shaman was deeply honest, he felt like crying too; he wouldn't ever admit it without a damn good fight, but he loved Vince, the Prince of Fashion was family too him, like a brother. To see this happen to Vince was… was… there wasn't even a word.

He didn't blame Howard, not really. It was quite clear to see that he had in no way meant to hurt Vince, and besides, he looked like he was giving himself enough hate and self-loathing for the whole of Camden, hands running through his curls and pulling hard, nails pressing into his hands and arms, digging, dragging-

The shaman grabbed his hands, "Fuckin' stop it, Howard!" he sighed and knelt down in front of the jazz-fan, "Please-"

Howard looked up at the sound of Naboo's voice, surprised when he heard it break tearfully at the end of his sentence and he found himself looking into the shaman's wide dark eyes that were becoming tear-filled more and more clearly.

"O-okay…" he said, taking deep breaths through his tears, "I'll try. I'm sorry Naboolio…"

"An' stop sayin' that y' sorry."

"Sorr- Er… yeah…"

They sat back in their seats, the room filled with the sound of them taking deep steadying breaths and tapping their feet, Howard now completely silent for Naboo, but in his head there was a screaming that just didn't seem to stop.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** **I'm back! :D All will be explained, but not now cos it's 4:45am and I'm writing you all mass updates x x**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own The Mighty Boosh**

**Warnings: Be on the lookout in case Naboo swears but I don't think there are any**

Howard woke to screaming, a man screaming, Vince screaming. He snapped awake in the waiting room sending a wave of dizziness through his head as he stood up abruptly and staggered still half asleep in the direction of the door.

"No!" Naboo was suddenly standing in front of him, arms out barring his way.

"What are you doing, let me through; why is he screaming like that!"

The shaman didn't have an answer for that and looked at the floor, shaking his head, mouth open as if to answer but no words coming forth.

"Mr Moon?"

It was only when Howard looked to his left that he saw the rather tall female doctor holding onto his arm rather firmly, and he realised that she had probably been there the whole time.

"What?" He blurted somewhat dazedly; she was looking at him funny.

"… Can I take your blood pressure…" it wasn't really a question, she was already making him sit back down and fussing about with trolleys and blood pressure monitors.

"What? Yes, I don't care,"

"Well – arm out for me- I think you need to start caring and calming down okay?"

"I don't care, what's happening to Vince?"

"I'm sure Mr Noir's going to be just fine, Howard,"

"Well he don't sound just fine does he!" Howard snapped in reply as the blood monitor squeezed his arm like a vice before eventually letting go after a sharp beep.

"… Right that is far too high; you need to relax okay?"

Howard looked back at her with the same expression he'd had for pretty much hours.

"You ain't gonna be any good to anyone if you end up in here as well," Naboo added bluntly.

Howard turned his expression on Naboo.

"…"

The doctor sighed, freed Howard's arm from the monitor and went to talk in hushed voices with Naboo.

Howard sat with his head in his hands, hearing his own blood rushing through his body, feeling his pulse beating hard through the vein in his neck. Every minute, every second, every bit of time that dragged past caused an almost physical pain in his chest. When had Vince stopped screaming? Why was he screaming, were they hurting him, was he crying, struggling? He was pretty sure that Vince's face, his expression milliseconds before he fell would be with him every time he closed his eyes, and his cry of pain would forever replay in his head like damaged vinyl.

He'd never forgive himself, even if Vince did. Because surely, Vince would be okay? He was Vince; he'd always be okay… always…

XXX

"Howard?"

"Hmmn…"

"Howard wake up, he's awake, Vince, you can go and see him…"

Waking up to Naboo's lisping voice was at least a lot better than waking up to Vince screaming.

Vince.

What time was it?

Wait…

"Wait what? He's awake?" Howard was up and awake in seconds, squinting at a nurse and Naboo, "where is he?"

It was said almost as if he expected Vince to be standing there completely fine, complaining about him sleeping too long when there were clothes, cosmetics and shoes to buy.

"I'll take you to him now, okay?" the nurse had a calming, quiet and genuinely caring voice.

Howard just nodded.

"Naboo… come with me…" he ignored the nurse holding the door for him, turned, and muttered when he saw the shaman sitting down.

"Can't," he answered, smiling slightly in apology, "s'one at a time, I'm not allowed,"

Howard suddenly looked frightened, but was ushered out into the busy corridor.

XXX

There were doctors and nurses and machines in the room when Howard arrived, and it all looked very complicated and dull and a like a place Vince would hate.

And Vince…

Didn't even look like Vince.

He was in a plain hospital gown, propped up into a sitting position with the use of several pillows. His hair had been cut considerably shorter, and he was so pale and frail looking it made Howard shiver.

Vince was looking down at his hands that were clasped limply in his lap, and he was frowning as if in deep concentration as an important looking medical person asked him questions and wrote things down.

"What day is it today Vincent? Sorry, may I call you Vincent or Vince?"

"… Vince… I think. And I don't know what day it is…"

"I see… do you remember anything about what you did today, Vince?"

"… No…"

"… Do you know who the Prime Minister is Vince?"

"No."

Howard, stood in the doorway fighting back tears and trying not to pass out, thought that Vince wouldn't have known that anyway. _Ask him about Gary Numan._

"Can you tell me one of your favourite things, Vince?"

"… I like… music?"

"Yes, and what kind of music?"

"… I don't know."

_What?_

"Okay, now Vince, do you remember that man over there?"

"That's Howard,"

"Ah. And do you know his full name?"

"Course. Howard T. J. Moon…."

"What does the 'T' stand for?"

"Tommy."

"The 'J'?"

"Jerry."

"And how is this man related to you, Vince?"

"He's my best mate… Howard, why won't you look at me?"

**A/N 2:**** Hope that was okay :/ going to answer messages and things in the morning when my brain is awake so you don't have to deal with the typo monster x x**


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